Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter
had to tell
the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full
today, and I've
been asked to admit only people who have had particularly
horrible
deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've
suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try
to catch
her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I
could tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't
reveal where
this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out
to the
balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the
railing,
25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I
started beating
on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he
wouldn't fall
off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a
hammer and
starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't
stand that
for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25
stories, he fell
into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it
anymore, so I
ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over
the edge
where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the
stress and
anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on
the
balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said
Peter, and let the man
in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about
heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the
26th floor of my
apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out
on my
balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or
something, because
I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the
railing of the
balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for
very
long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I
thought for
sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking
me. I held
on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and
grabbed a
hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let
go, but
again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned
but all
right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this
refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me
instantly,
and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a
pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the
whole
process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full
and asked
for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm
hiding naked inside a
refrigerator..."
