A successful man is
one who makes more
money than his wife
can spend.
A successful woman is
one who can find
such a man.
Men wake up as
good-looking as they went
to bed.
Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
A man is a person who
will pay two
dollars for a
one-dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one
dollar for a
two-dollar item that
she doesn't want.
To be happy with a man
you must
understand him a lot
and love him a little.
To be happy with a
woman you must love
her a lot and not try
to understand her at all.
A woman marries a man
expecting he will
change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman
expecting that she
won't change and she
does.
Men marry because they
are tired.
Women marry because
they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
A woman worries about
the future until
she gets a husband.
A man never worries
about the future
until he gets a wife.
There are two times
when a man doesn't
understand a woman:
Before marriage
and after marriage.
Only two things are
necessary to keep
one's wife happy: One
is to let her
think she is having
her own way, and the other is to
let her have it.
Any married man should
forget his
mistakes. No use two
people remembering
the same thing.
A woman has the last
word in any
argument. Anything a
man says after that
is the beginning of a
new argument.
