GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN
UPON A COPY OF THIS:
1) The floor is considered an
acceptable clothing storage location.
2) Never ask me to purchase
feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
3) When watching TV hugging is
always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done
during timeouts and commercials.
Questions should also be limited to this period as
you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.
4) When we are watching your show
and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to
change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are
channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5) If you need help with the
laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In
my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
6) If I mention that a male friend
of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend
to discuss it.
5) If you don't like the way I am driving
close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that
reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be
your fault.
6) I go clothes shopping to buy,
never to look.
7) Just tell me what you want me
to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten
minutes no matter what the occassion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting
ready.
8) Don't ask me if I prefer one
outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I
consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed
while watching TV.
9) If you want me to put the seat
down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are
finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing
the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.
10) I will cook anything as long as it
is on the BBQ.
11) Yelling to me across the house
sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring
you.
Just kidding Ladies!
-Track
